If you’re a caregiver and the person you’re caring for gets upset, it can be tricky to know how to handle the situation. Becky Beanblossom, president of Home Instead Senior Care, offers two techniques for calming your loved one.
When your loved one is angry or upset...
“There is a technique I use called “Apologize or Take the Blame.” Simply put, this technique requires the caregiver to apologize and say, “I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood.” I find that this technique works well with all clients if they are getting frustrated or angry about something. It is hard to stay angry if someone is apologizing and taking the blame for your pain point. Although this technique certainly works to defuse the situation, it can be difficult to do, especially when working with your own loved one. We typically have more emotion about the situation when it is our family and thus a harder time taking the blame when there is none. In those circumstances, I try to remember that it is not about being right. It is about getting the desired outcome, which is usually calming the person being cared for.”
When your loved one is sad...
“One of the tricks I use frequently when caregiving is validation and redirection. This is usually a technique associated with caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease or dementia. I find this technique works well with a host of different situations. For example, I recently spent time with a client who woke up feeling depressed. She spoke of losing her spouse to whom she had been married for more than 60 years. I have been married 22 years this year and could not imagine her pain. I asked her to tell me about her husband. As she talked and remembered him, there was joy in her memories. After we talked for a while, one thing led to another, and before you knew it she was getting up and getting ready for what promised to be a good day. Her pain and loss were validated, and then her attention and focus was redirected on the potential of the day at hand.”
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